cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
