I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
