so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
