At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
