She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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