Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
