literally had 100 drinks last night.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
