my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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