im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Two words: nipple clamps
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