That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
