i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
