they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
