hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will be naked everywhere
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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