Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
