What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
