Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
