Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
