thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
