the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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