I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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