He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
