White coat. Heels.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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