have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
