erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
