I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
