i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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