OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
