the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
