the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
