I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
