How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
