My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
