Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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