Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Who died my cat blue again?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
