no you cant smoke seaweed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
