i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sorry about my life...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
