looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
