Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
