Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i will never coherently bang her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
