Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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