10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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