she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
