i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
