i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
