gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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