I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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