i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
