"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
