I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
