I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he shaved USA in his pubs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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