I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
