Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
