sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
