: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
