I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
