watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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